


Horse Anxiety

by LaSauce



Series: Ted Talks [2]
Category: Blaseball (Video Game)
Genre: About a Horse, Fluff, Paranoia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-19 10:41:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29873430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaSauce/pseuds/LaSauce
Summary: Once again, Teddy was confronted with a simple truth. One he couldn’t escape no matter how he tried.He was kinda freaked out by that beefy ass horse.
Series: Ted Talks [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2196354
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	Horse Anxiety

Theodore “Teddy” Duende sat in his office. Or at least, the Garage’s office. He kept insisting it was the team's office, but seeing as he’s the only one who does any of the paperwork the team took to calling it Teddy’s.

There wasn’t much for him to do today, no contracts to sign, wills to notarize, or next of kin to contact. All he had was some mail to sort through. Like always it was mostly junk, it was always mostly junk with so many people under one roof. But there’s usually a few items of note. 

_ Some Ska zines for Oli and a Gardeners Digest for Paula. Same as always.  _

_ Looks like Gwiff got another letter from his kids, glad he’s steppin up. _

_ Postcard from Lang, Farell, and Henry. Nice of those kids to say hey.  _

As he was throwing out what must have been the fourth mail scam Spliff had sent them that week, Teddy noticed a bill he hadn’t seen before. A credit card bill, addressed to Summers Pony.

_ They… they have a credit card? _

Once again, Teddy was confronted with a simple truth. One he couldn’t escape no matter how he tried.

He was kinda freaked out by that beefy ass horse.

_ If they have a credit card then they’ve gotta have a bank account. But who would give a bank account to a horse? No one...right? But then how do they have a credit card? Do they even have a SSN? _

_ Wait… _

_ Do they have a social security number? Did...did that horse steal someone’s identity? Did they fake a new one? Can they even do that? They’re...they’re a horse! Horses can’t do that! Horses don’t even know what credit is!  _

Teddy started to sweat, eyes locked on the bill like it meant him harm. An unwelcome but familiar train of thought came back to him. 

_ But a horse shouldn’t be able to get that jacked either. Horses probably can’t drink protein shakes, or eat whatever whey is. A horse shouldn’t be able to play the saxophone! Or skate! But Summers, Summers can. Are they just some kind of special horse? Are they a mutant? A government experiment? Are...are all horses secretly this smart? Are they even a horse?! _

Teddy was broken out of his spiral by a soft whirring noise, coming down the hallway. He knew this noise, it was the sound of tiny wheels rolling along on carpet. Teddy quickly tried to collect himself, wipe off his brow. Staring at his open door, he saw them, Summers Pony. 2,500 pounds of pure equine muscle skated past his office door like it was nothing, like it was perfectly natural.   
  
Teddy stared at his now empty doorway, mouth wide open. Before he could stare for long he heard Oli hollering.   
  
**“SUMMERS SHIT IN THE HALLWAY AGAIN!” **  
****


End file.
